I have lived in my town for over 50 years. In all that time I had never seen a wild turkey until a few years ago when I looked out my office window and saw a flock of them. Since that time it has been more of a common occurrence than an exception. Just last week I stopped my car on Middlesex Turnpike to shoo away a female that had gotten herself stuck in the the road in rush hour traffic. She was right in the middle of the road unsure of which way to go, first starting left then going right but not getting out of the way. A normally grouchy crowd of drivers were very patient while I managed to get her moving in the right direction.
A couple of weeks ago we started to have regular visits in the yard by a number of females and one rather impressive Tom. It was hilarious watching him puff himself up, prancing back and forth trying to get some turkey dating action. I have been a bird watcher since I was a little kid looking out the window at the bird feeder while my mother read from Peterson's Field Guide, so it has been kind of cool to have a new additions to the neighborhood.
I guess I should rephrase to was kind of cool. It seems as though our new friend has some rather annoying habits. Apparently this guy likes to jump up on the neighborhood cars and walk on them while he make some rather disgusting deposits. He also appears to be a tad smarter than we thought since he is able to stretch his neck and stand on tippy toes and dine at my bird feeder. He also like to stomp through the flower beds kicking and scratching around.
As you might imagine a 20 or 30 pound turkey has a bit larger appetite than say a chickadee, cardinal or finch. This year I switched over from regular striped or oiled sunflower seeds to hulled seeds because the husks would make such a mess. I found that although more expensive they seemed to last longer without the mess. Not so with this guy.
The eating of the seed and stomping on the cars is not his worst characteristic however. The thing that has me most annoyed is his penchant for announcing his arrival every morning at 5:30 a.m by gobbling directly under my bed room window. On a work day it isn't so bad because getting up early is not such a bad idea. A Saturday or Sunday morning following the imbibing of a few beverages the previous evening is quite another matter.
Most animals at the sight of a human will get startled and move off, not this guy. I bang on the window and yell at him while he remains unfazed, alternately filling his beak with my food and gobbling at the top of his voice. It was time for a change in tactics.
The next step was to open the door and come on the stairs but this to was ineffective so I then began to chase after him. He responded by running just fast enough to stay ahead of me. I imagined I could hear him laughing at me like the little fast kid in elementary school that you could never catch in a game of tag.
Next came the alternate food strategy. I bought some cracked corn and placed it strategically down in the woods. What this proved was that turkeys enjoy cracked corn and sunflower seeds. He dines on the cracked corn and then comes up for a nice sunflower chaser. I am in the process of spraying fox urine around and finding a life like dummy of a dog to put out there and see if that is a deterrrence. I have tried squirting him with the hose but with the water ban in place that can only be employed on alternate days.
I have now declared turkey war and explained my strategies to my wife who replied that the cracked corn idea seemed to be more of aiding and abetting the enemy than a declaration of war. After explaining to me that there would be no planting of flowers this year if he was out there, she then informed me that she had been studying and found that it was legal in Massachusetts to shoot turkeys with a bow and arrow. Wow, that girl takes the term war seriously. Maybe I will sleep with ear muffs on.
