I have had a dog for most of my life. They don't call a dog man's best friend for no reason. I had my last dog about 15 years ago. After he went to doggie heaven my Mrs. swore we would never have a dog again.
Now what kind of a person holds a grudge for 15 years? Now I grant you that this dog had a few vexing peccadilloes. He would drag you down the street when leashed. He was a springer spaniel so naturally if there was a river, pond, puddle, or sprinkler he partook of the water. No big deal right? Just towel him off before he jumped on the sofa.
Now he barked a lot. If a bird flew by the window he would bark uncontrollably for five minutes. But isn't that why you have a dog? To protect you? Hey, those birds might have broken into the house for all he knew.
There were a couple of other things about him that upset Mrs. Like any good bird dog he liked to roll in dog mess just to kill his scent. He also had a penchant for chasing skunks. On consecutive days my better half called him into the house. When he came in she patted him and said "good dog," except when she discovered her hand was covered in dog shit. His next offense was running into the house happily after being sprayed by a skunk. This did not go over well at all.
So for the last 15 years, I have been dogless. I have been wearing her down and appealing to her every Christmas and birthday. Each time she asks me what I want for a gift I say I want a dog. These pleas have gone unanswered.
I began to appeal to her sensitive side. My friend has had several Yorkies and these dogs have been like family members. When you talked to them it was almost like they knew what you were saying. "Gee honey, wouldn't you want a dog like that." The silence was the reply.
Now this year I tried to recruit a co-conspirator. I said to my son "how about getting me a dog for my birthday?" He looked at me quizzically and said "and defy my mother? " What have you been smoking? I said, "Ok, I just want to warn you that worlds will be colliding cause I'm getting a dog." I saw his mind working and I had hopes that he might be loyal to his gender. But no, he put his arm around me, looked into my eyes and says "you haven't got the balls."
So I am here to tell you that in the next five or ten years I am getting a dog!!!
