Tales of Mabel

 The Center school building which in the 30’s was the town’s first high school but housed just 7th graders by the time I got there. When we started there we were busting out all over socially with dances and the Friday night roller skating bus and 13-year-old Hell-raising in general. The principal of the school was one Mabel Keating. A stern and solidly built woman that would strike the fear of God in any of us who she confronted. She patrolled everywhere. Your shirt had to be buttoned to the top, your lunch better be eaten. The girls were smarter than us by stuffing peas or carrots into their empty milk cartons. Another no no was hanging around in the boy's room. If she heard any hi jinx in there she would damn well come in there and pull you out by the ear or scruff of the neck.

It was against this backdrop that one of the funniest events of my short life occurred. A bunch of us including one Martin Hill was hanging around outside after lunch and I lit off some firecrackers I had brought to school. The quite portly Mabel came clomping through the parking lot like a whirlwind and grabbed poor Marty Hill by the throat. For the moment we all thought this was hilarious.

Later on, in class we heard Ms. Keating’s voice on the intercom to all the classes saying that Marty was in deep deep trouble. We could almost hear Marty whimpering in the background. Ms. Keating said that Marty denied having set off the firecrackers and she expected the guilty party to show up in the office at once. I am not sure if I was feeling sorry for poor Marty or I wasn’t sure he could stand up to the interrogation so I walked up to the front of the room and told my teacher, Mrs. Doherty, that Ms. Keating wanted to see me as I was the guilty party.

I got up to the outer office and the lady at the desk said not a word but pointed to the half-opened door of Ms. Keating’s office. Through the crack, I could see a poor forlorn-looking Marty sitting with moist eyes. I knocked on the door and walked in and said to no one in particular that it was me. A very angry looking Mabel looked at Marty and pointed to the door and Marty was gone like the wind.

Strangely enough, I wasn’t all that scared because I was well deserving of the ruler that was coming to me for this transgression and many others. Everyone knew that Ms. Keating beat the Hell out of kids with the ruler although none of us knew anyone who had actually been struck. Much to my astonishment, Ms. Keating came around the desk with a plate of cookies and offered me one! In a tone of voice that I had never heard from her she said: “well Phillip, you are a very honest boy.” We chatted amicably for a few minutes and she sent me happily on my way. When I returned to class I didn't dare tell anyone she had given me cookies I just said she yelled at me. After all, I had to maintain my image as a trouble maker. Later that day at a school assembly she made me stand up in front of everybody as an example of honesty. It took years to live that down with my peers.